definitely not proud to be an american

what a week! i'm feeling the same way i did when my dad died. i felt so angry when people tried to offer their condolences. i hated all the shallow explanations and justifications and reassurances that it was for the best. it was a dismissal of the significance of the event. explaining it away is a way of minimizing and negating the grief and the loss and the gravity of the situation. i remember feeling so angry that my fists balled up and i was shaking and it was all i could do not to punch people. i just wanted to scream that everyone needed to shut the fuck up and leave me alone. it is my grief and i don't want to share it. 

this grief started 8 years ago when the first intelligent, qualified woman didn't become president and now it's happened again. and this time, i have to face that a majority of my fellow countrymen really would rather have a spray-tanned, 80-year-old, lying convicted felon than an intelligent, funny, joyful woman who has prepared her whole life for the role. that's a sobering fucking realization. it's like someone who goes back to their abusive ex and thinks it will turn out differently. 

i'm more fortunate than most. i used the feelings i was feeling on wednesday to finally file my application for danish citizenship, 4000kr. and all. i have options. it will likely take a couple of years, but i will gladly go through it. and in the meantime, the country of my birth will further divide and become a shell of itself, as that craven, orange, diaper-clad man hands the treasury to his little cadre of billionaires. you all fucked around and soon you will find out. he wasn't on your side. he was on his own side all along. and then i hope someone comes along and pats you on the shoulder and tells you it was for the best. 

serenity now

i've made it as hyggeligt as possible. i'm listening to a cozy mystery set in the 1920s, drinking a glass of wine and trying not to think about the election. maybe i should be weaving, but i wanted to sit here in this peaceful space i've created. keeping the chaos at bay as long as i can. just trying to keep kamala and carry onala. 

one day more

tomorrow is the election. i don't imagine that i will sleep so well the rest of this week. my nerves are frayed and i don't know what to think. i decided to open this space and at least try to figure that out, like the good old days, where i came to write and figure out what i thought about things. it's surreal that the spray-tanned convicted felon even has a chance. i personally think he has a less of a chance that the polls make it appear. it's in the media's interest to make it seem close to keep people interested and glued to their screens. i don't think it's as close as all that. because record numbers of young people seem to have decided to vote early. and because women aren't going to surrender control of what happens to their bodies. so i think that harris will win and win decisively. but it's probably still going to be ugly - remember what we saw on that fateful january 6? that was no doubt just a warm-up. and that has my stomach in knots. i want my child in arizona to be safe. i want her to be able to make her own reproductive decisions. and i sincerely hope that my closest family members will not vote against her ability to do that. 

have i mentioned the second loom?

way back in 2010, before we even moved over to this falling down farmhouse, i acquired a loom. it's never been set up, but i've had it all this time. so once we decided that the brewery needed to be a weaving studio, i knew i had to set it up. along the way, i had acquired a third one and several smaller table-top looms as well, but there's not room for all of them. i still have dreams of having a loom upstairs in what will be the living room as well. 

a couple of months ago, husband and i spent the day putting the loom together. the two smaller ones i have are of similar size and we had to bring all the bits out here in order to figure out which belonged to which loom. we did eventually figure it out. it was rather like putting together a puzzle.

here are all the bits of the 3rd one. i cleaned them up and then the went back into storage until i can set it up upstairs. 

husband put up some hooks so that the extra bits that i'm not using on the big loom could be hung up. it can have 16 pedals, but i'm not nearly that ambitious as of yet. i'm only using six at the moment. 

we finally managed to get it put together. i knew i would need to call my weaving mentor to help me straighten everything out with all those "søller" (again, no idea what they're called in english since i've learned this entirely in danish). 

the view of the second loom through the first one. now it's really, truly a weaving studio. i'm going to set up a warp for weaving some more rag rugs. after i broke that bottle of olive oil on the first one that i wove and the second one had some issues with the yarn quality, i really need to weave a new one for the kitchen. 

it was rather fun getting out all the things that came with the looms along the way and figuring out exactly what all i have. and as you might imagine, i have a lot. it seems like every loom comes with a box or two of accessories. 

a week or so after this, emmy did help me get everything all set up and ready for the rag rug warp. i have to order the yarn and then we will get it set up. 

see the difference? i took this photo today - those strings are in much better order, just waiting for the warp.

we enjoy sitting at this little table and doing projects, even if it is right by the door. we sat here and made our friendship bracelets for the taylor swift concert (did i mention that my sister and i went to taylor swift in hamburg?). it's really become our favorite room.

and the view from the other side. i've got a second round of rainbow tea towels on the go on the big loom. when they're finished, i'll make us some bath towels for the upstairs bathroom. i'm pondering the colors and setup for those as i weave the rainbow tea towels.

somehow the color of the wood and color of the floor just complement one another perfectly. i love this room so much.

even when i'm working at home, i sit in a lounge chair over in this corner, just so i can be in the room. 

we can still do other projects out here, for example, husband is painting a cupboard over in the far corner. he just put down a drop cloth to protect the floor. i've had the sewing machine set up on the round table a couple of times as well. and i had a zine project going on there over the past week or so. 

people are always asking me how i have time for creative projects. i think it's mostly because i would rather come out and be in this room, making something, than sit and watch t.v. and even when i'm working on the computer, it tends to be here. so i guess my answer is that if you quite literally make the space for it, you have all the time for creative projects that you need.

even more moments of perfect clarity

it seems like everyone is on substack these days...and you know me, i can't resist trying to belong, so come visit me over there. i'm not abandoning here, just expanding my horizons. hope you'll stop by!

first batch of rainbow tea towels!

my first batch of tea towels is complete! they're so pretty and i was not at all done playing with color, so we made a new warp in the same color palette. 

i say we, because i am very fortunate to have my own personal weaving mentor, who gave me her loom and who is helping me every step of the way. 

to start off with, i played with some yarn i had in my stash - love the tweed effect of the nubbly yarn. i did enough to be able to make a little bag and now i've begun on the next set of tea towels. 

 

the prodigal molly returns

i hadn't seen molly dolly since before we went to arizona back in may. she wasn't here when we came home and she seriously didn't show up again until two days ago - july 10 to be exact. my last photo of her before that was april 6, though i am certain that i saw her on may 3, the day we left for arizona. at first, i wasn't worried - she can easily disappear for a few days and maybe a week, but i'll admit that eventually i thought something had happened to her. 

i was just sick about it, but couldn't even bring myself to speak it out loud. i would go out in the garden and talk to her, both out loud and just in my head. i was so sad to think that i might not know what ever happened to her. but now she's back, like nothing happened. i wonder where she was? billy, her grandson, does this all the time - he clearly has another home and lives there most of the year, only coming home for a few weeks every summer. but molly's never disappeared for more than a few days before this. she must have been angry that we left for 10 days. 

she's 12 years old now - yes, it was 12 years ago that we brought that tiny grey kitten back from our trip to minnesota and south dakota.