insecurities and haunted castles

i packaged up and sent off the very first order from my long-procrastinated etsy shop this morning. if i had realized exactly how motivating that act would be, i would have done it a long time ago (oh please, who am i kidding, i probably wouldn't have, i would have procrastinated it exactly as i did). it is a bit with trepidation that i did it, as all sorts of "am i good enough" thoughts swirl in my head. why do we do that to ourselves? is it the small town girl in me? is it a woman thing? is it because i went to grad school at the university of chicago where self-doubt comes complimentary with every degree? why is my head filled with the idea that i might not be worthy of having someone buy what i have created? do i have to go all stuart smalley here and repeat an "i'm good enough, i'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me" mantra? so i'm trying to fight those thoughts and focus on the feelings of inspiration and motivation i also feel from packing the things up and getting them ready to send. and new ideas are already popping into my head, some of which actually do not include eyeballs, believe it or not. :-)

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a lazy weekend stretches ahead. sabin's downstairs finding carrots to give to silver star after her riding lesson. we made red velvet cupcakes last night and we'll take a couple of those for her instructor and the sweet little girl who helps out with the lessons. i'm wondering if the woman who looks like sarah palin  will be there today. i have a hard time not staring at her.  i sneaked this picture of her last time. isn't it uncanny? that's her daughter in the light pink sweater on the left. couldn't she probably pass for piper palin? poor family, i wonder if they know...

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we're going to dinner this evening at my favorite little castle. it's called dragsholm slot. it's haunted and is totally one of my favorite places. it's been a couple of years since i was there and the last time, we kept the ghosts at bay by singing around a piano, or did we try to coax them out, i don't really remember anymore:

through the years, i've used it as a venue for workshops whenever i could. the food is great (the chef is french), the wine list top notch (which is why can't really recall if we were trying to attract or repel the ghosts above) and while it's a bit worn and slightly shabby, it's super charming and inviting, despite, or maybe because of, the ghosts. i hope we might run into them this evening. i'd love my last experience at 41 to be an other-worldly encounter.  i'll definitely be back with more stories and photos from there tomorrow.