on memory and forgetting and taking a picture every day

because you can never have too much yarn porn.

january 1, i started a 365 photo-a-day project. and, in consultation with many of your good selves, i created a flickr group to support it and for us to have a place to share our photos and give feedback to one another, with the idea of improving our photography. in the initial, heady days of january, it was so much fun! it seemed like the year would fly by and the inspiration would continue to flow like a fountain. all these people who knew one another from the blogosphere and a few new ones joined in and we became friends. and everyone learned and made explore and was happy.

then february struck. most of those in the group live in the northern hemisphere, so it was the darkest, coldest, most dreary part of the winter and it was hard. now it's march and spring is taking its sweet time in coming, at least where i live. there are days when i look outside at the aging snowbanks and the bare trees and i think, "i can't possibly take a  picture of anything worthwhile today." but then i take a wander around the house or i look at the photos the others in the group have taken and i feel inspired by something someone else photographed, and i get through it. because i promised myself i would. and my promises to myself have to mean something. and you reach a point where you keep doing it BECAUSE it's hard and because doing things that are hard can be good for you, and because it makes you buy fresh flowers on a regular basis.

my reasons for doing this have already changed in the 75 days it's been running. at the beginning, if i'm  honest, i wanted to show off my ability to take breathtaking pictures and develop more consistency in that. now, i realize that such a project is more about documenting what's going on in my life. and i admit that it's most decidedly not breathtaking on a daily basis. some days, i use my iPhone (thank goodness i've got hipstamatic and camerabag and other apps to make that more interesting). when the weather gets good, i'm going to use some of my film cameras (they're best at outdoor photos). i realized that a profound macro of the inside of my cat's ear doesn't actually help me document my life on a daily basis, so i've worked at pushing myself away from those and towards things that will help me remember what was going on and what was important to me at a particular moment in time. i think ultimately i'll find that this project is about memory for me.

the other reason i did this was to be more mindful of the world around me. to notice things. to see differently. last year at about this time, i got on a total eyeball kick, which i later realized was about my wanting to SEE differently. having to take a photo every day makes me look differently at the world.

i'll admit it's hard for me not to see the current exodus from the group as a personal rejection of sorts, despite endless explanations to the contrary, but i'm trying. and until i can forget about it, that's all i can do.in the meantime, it makes me quite sad to see people give up and leave us, whatever their reasons. but although i'll admit it shakes my conviction, especially because it's people i love and respect, i remain committed. after all, i read recently about a guy who took a picture every single day from 1979 'til his death in 1997. now THAT's commitment.

if you're not now totally put off the idea of taking a photo every day and you'd like to join us, please check out the blog camp 365 group on flickr. it's never too late to start!

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and the picture at the top? what does it have to do with all of this? well, it was one of THOSE days, where i took what felt like 600 pictures of the new yarn that i'm going to use to make granny squares after kristina and ulrika teach me this coming weekend, and i wasn't pleased with how any of them turned out. but then, i played with them in lightroom and i think this one came out ok. a process that was good for me and which framboesa talks about very thoughtfully here.