there are these moments, not moments of perfect clarity exactly, because those are something else, but moments where you suddenly, out of nowhere are able to take in, just for a second, The Enormity of Things. i had one the other day when we took a load of books and things to the house. i had unpacked them onto a shelf so we could take the boxes back home to load again and it suddenly hit me, in all of its fullness, exactly how much work we had to do on the house before it would be as we want it. luckily, it only lasted a second, because otherwise i would have just gone mad from the enormity of it.
i had a similar flash of The Enormity of Things today on the train, when i looked up and saw a strange, goofy, awkward man looking at me. you know how you can feel someone looking at you sometimes? and i tweeted something uncharitable about how i had forgotten about weirdos on the public transport. and then i was suddenly hit by the feeling of how everyone is really just trying to get on with their life in their own way. and our paths cross or they don't, but we're all just living along, inside of ourselves, trying to make our way. and the enormity of all of us going along, living, was just THERE for a second. and then it passed. thankfully most of the time our minds protect us from that knowledge of The Enormity of Things. i think if it didn't, we'd just be paralyzed, unable to move. just sitting here frozen, but in the same boat.
i wonder what it is about right now that's making me susceptible to these gateways of my mind...
6 comments:
Treasure those moments. They juice us up and make us real. They're little messages from the inner space of our subconscious. Or something like that.
Look for the lesson. :)
As a young girl, I thought of these moments as times of being truly REAL.
I sometimes see the city lights at night and think that behind each light, each window there's a person living their life - maybe even a family living their lives. It's humbling.
Ha! I love that you share these inner moments with us.
I can relate to the enormity of things also. When we moved out here 4 years ago, with no house, no plan just a drop dead gorgeous property that made my heart flutter; we did not give the enormity of it any thought. Now being nearly 60 and my husband is 60 we have never worked so hard in our lives to build our dream. It is a work in progress and it physically hurts! You have the youth, treasure it and get as much done as you can while you have the strength. I do not regret what we did as life is an adventure and one needs to take leaps out of our comfort zone.
It is the change and the growing older and the reality all around us every day...but you see it, and that is so much more than so many people even attempt to do. And that is your perfect clarity.
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