opening doors. we've got open doors galore around here. it's spring, so the doors are literally open to let in the fresh air. we've metaphorically opened the doors to a new house and new jobs and a new school for sabin and for a whole new life. i remember back in november after a conversation with my neighbor about how sometimes you have to close one door to make another one open, how i made a decision about my job in norway. one which closed that door, but was surely the first step in opening all of these other doors.
but i'll admit that the open doors are also very draining. since i've started my new job and we're using this month to basically get moved over to the other side of the country in stages, it feels both like the new life has begun and like it's waiting to begin - i have a foot in each life at the moment. and that uses my energy in a whole new way. everyone always asks me how i find the time for all of my blogging and i always say that it's because i prioritize it. and i did and i can feel that right now i haven't been.
when i'm not properly writing or properly thinking about writing, i begin to feel cramped somehow. and squirmy and uncomfortable. and i feel that way right now, because i haven't had time to do the writing and thinking that i need to do to feel in balance. but it's just this interim phase that we're passing through. life will settle in and i'll settle back into the creative place. it's good to realize that i'm immediately aware of it and also aware of what it is that is a problem. i think previously, i didn't recognize that and i went around in a bit of a fog, feeling anxious and irritated and not knowing why. this time, i know why and i also know that it's just a period that we're in. and that it too shall pass. we just need to close a few of the old doors first.
15 comments:
How often I think about doors!!!!
The picture of the doorhandle is just how I feel. I am seeing it but can't touch it.
Oh well, the sun is shining, a lot of work awaits. So let's get on with it.
I'm reading your blog with great interest right now because at some point (I hope this year!) we'll be moving too. Like you, I need a certain amount of thinking time to myself and wonder how I will handle the 'foot in both lives' aspect during the transitional period. You seem to be managing just fine. Good luck with the rest of the process.
It's quite difficult when your creative place has been moved, isn't it?
I hope the opening and closing of doors gives you lots of creative ideas!
I hear ya sister. When I get too busy for art journaling or blogging I feel like the thoughts begin to back up and create havoc in my brain. People who don't see "blogging as the new praying" or even "blogging as the path to sanity", simply can't understand.
It will pass, and looking back you'll think, "wow! that seems so long ago!" but that's hard to hold on to when you're in it. And I'm not even sure it helps. Moving is hard, yo. Much peace heading north.
It can be very challenging to be in two worlds... letting go of one and grabbing another....
We are still here for and with you! Looking forward to seeing pics of the new place!
Trina
www.mommeville.com
I have been thinking how remarkable you are that you can move, start a new job and keep on blogging...I've been enjoying your posts...as a new reader, I hadn't noticed anything amiss. You're remarkable at juggling! Transition is a strange place, stressful for some an exhilarating for others...Are you feeling exhilarated?
This is exactly how I have been feeling too! I know it will pass though. Things will settle and we will both find ourselves back in the rhythm and I cant wait :0)
I completely understand that feeling. I feel like I'm in a holding pattern because we're almost done with the house buying process and there's so much I want to do in the month we'll have to move homes. But it's like nothing can really start until the ink is on the contract, so holding pattern it is. My mind gets all anxious and crazy and I start to feel the effects physically. So I have to remind myself to calm down and that I need to enjoy what I have at this moment and stop worrying about what's coming up. It keeps me a bit more focused.
i know these feelings so well. so very well and understand them.
i am sending positive vibes - i know you will do very well....more like fantastic.
Yes, I know that feeling, I get it too, when I don't create, something is wrong, and then it just comes spilling out, and then it is right.
It will take time, to get settled, to get through the change, but you will, you will.
i feel for you. and i hope you'll have lots of extra energy for all the things that are waiting to be done. when you know a decision is right, it will be all worth it.
p.s.: i can truly relate to what you say even though the transitions i'm going through at the moment are different ones.
p.p.s.: saw this and thought of you:
http://www.sfgirlbybay.com/2010/04/14/giveaway-quilting-for-peace/
I'm not a good one for change, although I crave it. I hope you regain your balance soon. I'm sure that you will, in record time, with all the new energy from your new doorway.
:-)
I am always amazed at how you seem to read my mind. It's true! I'm not exaggerating one bit. Honestly, I don't think I even need to blog anymore, I could just post links to you. :) I'm so glad you prioritize blogging into your days. It means a lot to all of us, you have no idea.
Thinking of you as you make the transition...
Sarah
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