i've thought about my recent blogosphere run-ins a bit more and what i think is behind them, in both cases, is actually a message to me that i wasn't welcome in those particular bloggy circles. because there are bloggy circles out here. and while i've tried very hard to have my own bloggy circle be a wide and inclusive one, not everyone feels that way. and while i undoubtedly don't always succeed, i think that save one instance with the flickr group where someone was just downright nasty to other members, i have never intentionally excluded anyone from my little corner of the blogosphere.
there's a particular gang on flickr that i honestly tried to be part of (the wanna-be 3191s, as i think of them (note: the REAL 3191 people are not part of that group and i am most definitely not implicating them)) and i was just thoroughly and roundly rejected. the whole tumblr photo thing was with a member of that circle and it was just, at the base of it, another message to me that i wasn't part of their gang. so i've long given up. as i realized i didn't need the validation of a few stuck-up snobs in order to feel ok with myself and my photos and well, my life. there's way more validation and warmth and life to be had in my own bloggy/flickr circles.
i think the other one was signaling that i don't really belong in another of the crafty circles. my experiments in natural dyeing are sporatic at best, as are my stitching efforts. i love contemporary fabrics. i don't fit. i'm not one of them (i felt that last winter with the slow cloth group on facebook) and that's ok with me too. while i thought it was only a compliment to link to the beautiful and inspiring things that people are sharing online, apparently you should only do that if you're of them.
jenna wrote recently of being a jack of all trades and proud of it. i guess that's a bit where i'm at too...of late, my interest has been in sewing clothes for sabin. i've also been knitting a bit here and there. my cooking interests are subdued at the moment by my horrible old kitchen, but they will return as well. and i will go back to the stitching and i'm still following many inspiring blogs, but i guess i have to be content with my place in the scheme of things. and actually, i am. it is just jarring to be told outright that you don't belong.
but that's not how i want to be and the only thing i can change is my own view on these things and know that in both instances, my intentions were good, and that's really all i can say.
a big thank you to everyone for your supportive comments and the reminder that things aren't all awry in the blogosphere. i have put up a small blogroll once again, but this time, it's a link up under my header. i will be changing it regularly and keeping it small, so if you're worried that you're not there at the moment, you just might be the next time you look.
happy weekend one and all...
16 comments:
Lovely! Look at you sparkle!
Interesting too. That's exactly how I feel. Jack of all trades. Not an expert in anything in particular but good at and love to dabble in lots. Wonder how many of your followers feel the same.
Not sure if I'm part of your circle, but I'm glad to be here regardless. Feels like home to me!
Just want to say that I love your blog and have had fun with the flickr group (even though I've fallen out of that now with all I've got to do). I've always felt welcome and have been often inspired by your posts and photos.
Be who you are. You're great that way.
That cliquish clan of non-backpackers doesn't realize who they're messing with ...
love the sparkles...lurve
i've taken a step back from flickr lately...it was weighing me down as i chased the golden rainbows of acceptance and accolades as it is easy to fall in that trap. wondering why cool kids never comment and i figured out it wasn't them it was me - my expectations. so, now i do flickr only if it pleases me just as anyone should do. just as you've done. gotta love that lack of pressure, right?? *smile*
good for you that you are doing your thing. i love being around for that.
Just love your sparkly image!!!!
I think we would all love to believe the blogosphere is some type of nirvana, but in actually it is bound to reflect the same flaws that we find in real life. So, when you find them, or they find you, you just have to move on and be appreciative of the fact that you didn't have to meet them eye to eye.
Rejecton hurts, be true to yourself. You have a wonderful blog with much to share with true blog friends. Be happy....-) Hugs
I followed Bonnie's (Original Art Studio) blogroll to your post today and it expressed a sentiment I'd felt in the past as well. I once came across a bloggy-circle and as those people seemed to be of a similar mindset and with interests and creativities in common, I left brief, friendly comments several times - not a peep out of any of them. I felt like a grade-schooler again, being snubbed by the popular girls. wow.
And then, 'cause my craft stuff isn't the main focus of my blog, I never made it with that crowd either. So I totally hear what you're saying and I just wanted to say thanks for saying that. It made me feel better :-)
It is beyond my comprehension why people feel they need to give someone else a hard time.
i think this whole thing goes back to the conversation we were having at blog camp berlin with Gwen saying that some people blog to live whereas our blogs are just an outlet of part of our lives... i think the further you get into those circles (the ones that blog to live) the weirder reaction you'll get...
I like my little blog circle and tend to stick with it. I mean we all know each other and have fun blogging, and tumbling various things!
your blog is amazing, i just thought id tell you that :)
You have no need to seek affirmation. I think you are an interesting and intellectual person. Don't dismiss those of us who are Jack-of-all-Trades personalities, we don't get stuck in a box! We are always looking to expand our horizons.
Or maybe we lose interest easily. I don't know. What I do know is you don't need to justify yourself to anyone, except maybe yourself. And not to yourself, if based on some stranger's weird reaction.
That's what I think. So sparkle on.
And put me back on your blog roll. I will never bite. I probably won't even growl.
Sometimes the blogosphere makes me feel like I'm in high school again. The old insecurities arise every time I put myself out there.
The big difference is that I am much stronger now. A clique may dump me, and it might crush me for a brief time, but I will recover and move on.
Good for you for moving on and leaving a bad clique behind.
gorgeous photos.
i think it was you who said to me once, "blog for yourself, the rest of it will come."
or, as my husband likes to say, "you can't be everything to everyone."
your photos and writing are fabulous, i've loved your blog from the first time i came here.
i missed all this, but screw them, whoever they are.
:) Debi
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