sometimes all of the possibilities before me leave me feeling listless and unable to focus. with so many different things to focus on, i tend not to focus at all, but wander from one to the other, without really finishing or exploring any of them to their fullest. this is true of sewing projects, business ideas, gardens (i still haven't planted that basil in the greenhouse), bread left baking in the oven (i could go on).
a friend of mine is using this whole week to get her focus and her priorities straight and sharing the whole process on her blog. (it's in danish, apologies to my largely english-speaking audience). and while i find it a little new agey (don't get me wrong, i had a new age phase in the late 80s in southern california, as one does, and i loved it fully then, but i've moved on), however, i think the idea is a good one. to really dig in and figure out what the hell it is that makes you tick. (and by you i mean me.)
i suppose everyone goes through this, a midlife crisis of sorts, where you wonder if you're living the right life and if you've focused on the right things and whether what you've done matters. and i suppose the answer is always that sometimes you did and sometimes you didn't. and that sometimes it's hard to tell when you're in the middle of it all.
all you can really hope is that you can somehow tune in to what it is that makes you tick. and then focus on that.
10 comments:
Doesn't seem new age-y at all to me (and oh how much easier it is to READ Danish than to understand when someone is speaking!)
I've felt a bit... maybe not unfocused lately but like my brain is on overdrive and I never have enought to do and can't turn off the computer either - but I find that when I slow down instead of trying to fill my time even more, and when I do turn off the computer a while and paint on paper, the focus - or whatever - comes back. Which is probably nothing compared to a mid life crisis, but anyway! Just... listen to yourself and do the things you love to do, not what you think others expect of you.
The unspoken assumptions there are that we are meant to be productive and therefore to focus. Perhaps a lack of focus at times opens up the arena of possibilities.
Just want to add that one of the things that brings me to your blog is the scope and diversity of your interests. I think creativity needs spurts of focus, but I so admire creative souls who apply their talents in many domains.
It's such a western, cultural expectation to focus on one thing. What mother, farmer, gardener, etc. can do that?
Love topics that aren't either/or!
I'm going through the exact same thing it sounds like. I tend to "act out" when I get overwhelmed and this time it's kind of like my 1/3 of life crisis or something. (I'd hate to think that mid-life for me is 30.) Anyhow, I'm doing some very serious thinking about who I am NOW and where I want to be. I haven't thought about what makes me tick in years and I realized that I've done a lot of changing and not enough re-evaluating.
Oh, I have been thinking about this a lot. Just mentally composing a blog post earlier today, before I even read yours! About the pluses and minuses of being drawn to many different creative pursuits, rather than having just one to focus on. Thanks for your post, it is nice to know that others are pondering along similar lines.
"the answer is always that sometimes you did and sometimes you didn't. and that sometimes it's hard to tell when you're in the middle of it all.
all you can really hope is that you can somehow tune in to what it is that makes you tick. and then focus on that."
I'm going to take these words to heart. I agree mostly with the part "it's hard to tell when you're in the middle of it all". I think we're always in the middle of it all and we can only figure it out when it's all said and done and you can look back on it and decide if you're ok or not. You have to go through things, come out on the other side, wipe yourself off and just listen to that voice inside your head asking "you ok?" if you answer "yes" then move on, if you answer "no" then figure it out.
It's time for a little change - maybe a class in something you know nothing about. Maybe a little trip by yourself to an odd little museum. Maybe just holing up in the house and thinking about you.
I can so relate to this post. It's easy to forget we change over time and it's easy to feel overwhelmed by choices. Taking stock of who you have become and what you now want is a great and sometimes difficult thing to do.
P.S. As a mildly displaced Swede (living in Australia) it was great to read a Scandinavian blog in a Scandinavian language (re your friend Janne's blog). I do so enjoy coming to visit your blog, it's a little slice of my part of the world and it's seen through another world's eyes. I can relate to that since I moved so far away from where I grew up too.
focus is very much on my mind these days too, with all the 'projects' in my life I HAVE TO find a way to focus on what's important, otherwise I will get very lost. this process has led me to spring cleaning my life and getting rid of all the little things that I liked, but that were time consuming and not helping with getting the focus right... but now I miss them, like blogging, they were a big part of who I am. it's difficult to get the balance right!
I've gone through this for years and the only thing I've ever figured out is that you never figure it out, we're always changing, until the minute, the second we are gone, and the only thing that matters is what we choose to focus on, in each one of those minutes and seconds.
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