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| a beautiful fog settles in along the creek |
do you ever get the feeling that sleep is a waste of time? it's not a feeling that comes over me very often, but it does occasionally. and tonight is the second night this week. it happened as well on sunday night. it's a very awake, very alive feeling and it feels like to try to sleep would spoil it, interrupt the flow. i can't make the feeling come and i can't predict when it will come, but i recognize it very clearly.
sunday night, i don't really know where it came from, but tonight, i think it's because it's completely magical outdoors (this photo in no way does justice to the magicalness).after days of rainy, grey weather, it was sunny and beautiful all afternoon and this evening was perfect - still, golden and wonderful. we grilled in the graden and we'll be able to pick the first bowl of strawberries tomorrow. a day of welcome warmth after all that rain has made tiny carrots and beets finally show up. i swear the potatoes grew 10cm today.
it's a very switched-on feeling, like i can go on working and thinking and processing until it gets light again. and not only like i could, but that i should. it's a very intense feeling. and tho' it sounds perhaps a bit manic, it's different than that, because i don't feel like hurrying or buzzing around. it's like my mind is very open - to ideas, to possibilities, to the universe. and i have to grab onto it and not miss it. but i can do that in a quiet way, without flurry.
i was trying to explain this yesterday and i'll admit it sounds stranger "out loud" here on the page than it does in my head or than it feels. have you ever had this feeling? do you know what i mean? please say you know what i mean.
2 comments:
I remember that feeling from backpacking days when your time was your own, no responsibilities and a fresh overwhelming desire to soak in as much of my surroundings as possible.
These days the closest I get is when I'm pattern wrangling as they require the odd all nighter and I'll take moments away from the table to enjoy the changes in light, temps & sounds. I'll crash and burn a few nights later which is also satisfying.
There are times when I am operating on a different wave length. It is almost like an internal vibration, it resembles anxiety, but it is not. I can sense it, I can see it, I don't sleep. Lists get made, fabrics come out of their drawers and every wall, every curtain every flat surface becomes a design wall. My thoughts become very focused and the light in my world becomes intense and somewhat astringent. Weird, I know, but quite true. For me it is another dimension of my being, I don't stay there long, usually, but when I am there it is pure bliss.
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