i learned a lesson this evening that i really need to remember. because it was something that i already knew, but rarely act on. i was supposed to go to one of those soul-draining meetings this evening. but i had had a headache all day and so i said i couldn't be there. and oddly, at about the same time, the clouds lifted, the skies cleared and the sun came out. really, i mean it. and my headache faded. and i went out to the barn and i spent time checking on all of the animals. we've got a regular nursery going around here - frankie's mama pepchen has 3 new kittens. this little black hen hatched out 4 fluffy little chicks (i zoomed in, i don't dare get too close, she's a meanie pants). and the bunnies, two batches, are almost 2 weeks old.
our coming 2 filly has gained weight in leaps and bounds since her worming and has shed her winter coat and is looking very pretty (tho' i didn't have the camera on me at the time, so i'll have to show you that another time). and after i tucked the horses in with their grain and some fragrant hay, i stepped out of the barn and across the greening field (i don't know whether it's wheat, barley or rye, but whatever it is, it's coming up fast), there was a deer grazing in the distance. the air was full of birdsong and it was peaceful and glorious and my soul felt restored. way better than some meeting full of senseless powerplays by a sexist, racist troglodyte. with my energy levels filled to overflowing, i can see him for the silly little man he is, rather than being angry or wound up about it. maybe my own skies have cleared now and it won't ever go back to how bad it was. but maybe, just maybe, i'll have to skip another meeting or two to be sure. in the meantime, i'll just enjoy this beautiful, peaceful calm contentment that has come over me after spending the evening in the company of my animals, the garden, the trees bursting forth in all their glory of green and the cool evening air, tinged golden by the last waning rays of sunshine. i will remember that this is how it feels to have made a good decision, just for me.
2 comments:
I think the issue of personal restoratives is never fully idealized and realized. Perhaps it's because who we are doesn't always match with what we want.
you're so right, bill. (weird, i just typed billy). and i think it's because most people can't really see themselves. truth be told, we actually never HAVE seen ourselves. but hey, in the wise words of madonna as breathless mahoney in dick tracy , "an unexamined life is not worth living."
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